“Too eager to please.”
A team of researchers found that among primates, females are almost as likely as “alpha males” to dominate the opposite sex.
A weekly dispatch taking aim at the relentless absurdity of the 24-hour news cycle.
In Texas, the search for at least 166 missing people after the July 4th Guadalupe River flooding was paused as heavy rains and flash floods forced further evacuations.1 The U.S. Homeland Security secretary defended the Federal Emergency Management Agency’s response to the Texas floods, despite reports that two thirds of its disaster hotline calls went unanswered due to a staff shortage.2 3 “Our entire office is just … gone,” said a senior civil service officer after the U.S. State Department laid off more than 1,300 employees.4 A preliminary report on the Air India crash that killed 260 people last month found that the plane’s fuel switches were cut off shortly after takeoff, possibly by one of the pilots.5 In posts to Truth Social, the U.S. president announced 30 percent tariffs on goods from Mexico and the European Union, 35 percent tariffs on those from Canada, and 50 percent tariffs on all Brazilian imports, the latter partly in retaliation for the country’s treatment of its former far-right president, who is on trial for attempting a coup d’état, a proceeding that the U.S. president called a “Witch Hunt that should end IMMEDIATELY!”6 7 8 9 10 The U.S. president criticized Brazil’s recent Supreme Court rulings that would require social media companies to actively monitor and remove harmful content from their platforms; and on X, the Sesame Street character Elmo, whose account was hacked, and xAI’s chatbot Grok posted anti-Semitic messages.11 12 13 14 “Too eager to please,” said Elon Musk of the chatbot’s praise for Adolf Hitler.15 The U.S. Federal Communications Commission approved two deals with T-Mobile after the communications company agreed to abandon its diversity, equity, and inclusion programs; it was reported that some Harvard University graduate schools closed their diversity, equity, and inclusion offices; and in Alaska, a creek’s name was changed from Nazi Creek to Kaxchim Chiganaa, or “gizzard creek.”16 17 18
In Immigration and Customs Enforcement detention centers, accounts from detainees described food shortages and spoiled food; U.S. immigration officials may soon be able to deport migrants to countries other than their countries of origin with as little as six hours’ notice; and a 57-year-old farmworker died after falling 30 feet from a greenhouse roof during an ICE raid at a licensed cannabis facility in California, where about 200 immigrants and four U.S. citizens were arrested.19 20 21 22 The Trump Administration filed a suit against the state of California over the high price of eggs, citing animal welfare laws, and dropped charges against a Utah plastic surgeon accused of destroying COVID-19 vaccines, selling fake vaccination cards, and administering saline shots to children at their parents’ request.23 24 MAGA influencers criticized the Trump Administration for its handling of the Jeffrey Epstein files, and a former MAGA influencer and the current deputy FBI director said he is considering resigning after clashes with the U.S. attorney general over the Epstein case.25 26 27 A former New York governor who resigned from his post in disgrace announced his independent candidacy for mayor of New York City, and the U.S. president nominated a self-described “alpha male” and “manosphere” content creator to be the U.S. ambassador to Malaysia.28 29 A team of researchers found that among primates, females are almost as likely as “alpha males” to dominate the opposite sex.30
A 54-pound Martian rock will be auctioned in New York, the original Hermès Birkin bag sold for more than $10 million in Paris, and a wedge of blue cheese sold for $42,232 in Spain.31 32 33 Flamingos invaded Italian rice fields, threatening risotto production; and Canadian researchers found the nation’s oldest known puffin.34 35 A man was charged with smuggling 14 toucans inside his dashboard across the U.S.–Mexico border, a mother was arrested and charged after her son died due to being left for several hours in a hot car while she was getting lip filler, and it was reported that extreme heat caused cars to catch fire in Death Valley National Park. In Queens, New York, “parking wars” erupted as a woman was slashed in the face over a parking spot outside a hookah lounge, and two women attacked one of their neighbors for attempting to park in front of their house; and in Brooklyn, a parking spot sold for nearly $250,000.36 37 38 39 40 “End your parking woes forever!” claimed the listing for the spot.41 In the Bronx, the New York Police Department requested that an illegal swimming pool be dismantled after children were seen jumping from scaffolding into its waters; and in Arizona, a man was fined for offering free cold water in his driveway.42 43 Wisconsin police found drugs in a bag labeled “Definitely Not a Bag Full of Drugs,” researchers found that magic mushrooms might slow aging, and an Australian woman was found guilty of murder by mushroom after serving a poisonous beef Wellington to her guests.44 45 46 “It is of course upsetting to learn that one of my recipes … is entangled in a tragic situation,” said the chef who posted the recipe to her blog.47 The Royal Canadian Mounted Police proposed collaborating with a local farmers market to make “Jack-Knife Jelly, Pothole Preserves, and the ever-popular … Traffic Jam!” after thousands of blueberries spilled onto a British Columbia highway.48 Both blueberries and mushrooms were placed under a severe recall notice by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.49 —Clarissa Fragoso Pinheiro