Weekly Review
A FAMOUS PLAY ILLUSTRATED - "THE LYON'S MAIL."
Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia died in his sleep after a day of quail hunting at a ranch outside Marfa, Texas, and Republicans in Congress vowed to block any Supreme Court nominees until a new president is elected. “I think there are a lot of people who would be disappointed,” said Senator Mike Lee, “if we didn’t do this.”[1][2] During the primary election in New Hampshire, a polling place in Pelham was briefly disrupted by the presence of a 600-pound pig, and Ted Cruz pulled a campaign ad after discovering that the lead actress had starred in soft-core pornography films, including Secrets of a Chambermaid and Timegate: Tales of the Saddle Tramps.[3][4] The FBI reported that the four remaining militants at the Malheur Wildlife Refuge in Oregon did not booby trap the compound before surrendering to authorities.[5][6] Seventeen member states of the International Syria Support Group agreed to a “cessation of hostilities” in Syria, and, following the announcement, Syrian president Bashar al-Assad promised to keep fighting, Turkey stepped up its bombing campaign against the Kurds in Syria, and Russia continued flying sorties.[7][8][9] Russian prime minister Dmitry Medvedev described Russia’s relationship with the West as “a new Cold War,” and a noted opponent of President Vladimir Putin had cake thrown in his face by a gang of men at a Moscow restaurant.[10][11]
China’s education ministry issued a directive mandating that teachers “guide youthful students to establish and maintain correct views of history,” and the prime minister of the United Arab Emirates published a poem called “Happy Nation.”[12][13] In Iran, the grandson of Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini was barred from running for a position in the Assembly of Experts for not possessing enough Islamic knowledge.[14] It was reported that Kim Jong-un built a $10,000,000 visitor’s center in Sinuiju, North Korea, and Egyptian president Abdel Fattah el-Sisi drove up a 2.5-mile-long red carpet on his way to a speech in which he announced the opening of a public housing complex and promoted austerity measures.[15][16] Japanese officials drafted new regulations to limit the size of human pyramids to five tiers, the U.S. House Transportation and Infrastructure Committee defeated a bill that would have mandated the minimum size of airline seats, and a Kentucky state representative introduced a law requiring men seeking Viagra prescriptions to get a note from their wives. “This,” she said, “is about family values.”[17][18][19]
Two pedestrians on San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge were hit with blow darts, and police in northern India declared plans to use slingshots loaded with chili powder against violent protesters.[20][21] A goat in Chhattisgarh, India, was arrested for grazing in the garden of a local judge.[22] In Wales, a road was temporarily closed after a $274,000 bridge for mice partially collapsed during Storm Imogen, and in Reading a dead mouse was found in a 155-year-old “perpetual mousetrap” at the Museum of English Rural Life.[23][24] An Australian researcher presented plans to cull the population of koala bears, over half of which are infected with chlamydia.[25] In Florida, a 23-year-old man was charged with aggravated assault after tossing a three-and-a-half-foot alligator into a Wendy’s drive-thru window.[26] A Portland, Oregon, resident filed a complaint against a marijuana dispensary for displaying a mural of a monkey in an astronaut suit smoking marijuana in outer space; the town of Zalec, Slovenia, announced plans to build a $400,000 public beer fountain; and a Wisconsin man arrested for the tenth time for driving under the influence blamed his high blood-alcohol content on eating beer-battered fish.[27][28][29] In Spain, it was discovered that the supervisor of a wastewater treatment plant had not attended work for at least six years, but had reportedly spent that time becoming an expert in the works of seventeenth-century Dutch philosopher Baruch Spinoza. [30]
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